Thunder Rolls
by country-till-I-die
Summary: As the storm blows on out of control. deep in her heart, the thunder rolls. Garth Brooks. eventually EO maybe, you decide who wins
1. Storm

My first story. Review and tell me what you think.

DIsclamier: Nope dont own it

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"So Liv, hot date tonight?" Munch and Fin snickered.

It was then that Elliot looked at her. She was dressed in a sleek black dress with a v-neck cut and a slit going up to mid-thigh. The dress fell to her knees. She was stunning. Elliot couldn't help the jealousy creeping up on him as he watched her.

"I'm just going to dinner."

"Looks a little formal for dinner," Elliot mumbled. She had heard him.

"He's taking me somewhere nice," She shot back. They had been at edge the last few weeks. The baby made both of them on edge. The tension between the duo was undeniable. This is precisely why she tried to slip out without him seeing her.

Their quip remarks at each other hadn't gone unnoticed by the other detectives throughout the week but the others felt it best to leave it alone.

"See you tomorrow guys," she maintained her smile but found it hard because of Elliot's bitterness. She was the only one who could hear it. It was small and slight, but she knew it was there.

"Oh we want details Liv. Our baby girl rarely has a hot date with this job. I'm sure you gonna have LOTS to talk about." Fin said as Munch tried to stop laughing. Elliot was still sitting at his desk. He seemed calm but under the desk he held tight fists.

"Yeah have fun," he said with surprising ease.

Her date came to the door of the squad room. _Michael from homicide. Son of a bitch._ Elliot thought. Mike had come to him talking about a dazzling woman with amazing eyes and how much he wanted to ask her out but was afraid. Elliot stupidly told him to go for it. He didn't know it was Olivia.

"Guys this is Mike from homicide," She introduced as she shot a quick glance at Elliot. He seemed calm enough. She knew he hated meeting her dates. He always thought they weren't good enough. To Elliot they weren't, but that wasn't the only reason.

"Hey guys," he greeted. On their way out he whispered to Elliot as they passed, "Thanks man." Olivia had heard this and it shocked her that Elliot would approve of someone enough to encourage them.

"What are you thinking about?" Mike leaned across the table, gazing at her eyes.

"Nothing. Just…thinking." She replied distracted.

"It's about him isn't it."

"What are you talking about?" She replied, curious.

"Forget it. Let's dance," he quickly changed the subject. He waited long enough for this night, and was not going to ruin it by them arguing over Elliot.

They danced for quite a while, swaying to the music of the restaurant. Many tables surrounded a slightly crowded dance floor. She loved this place. They danced until eleven. He paid the bill and they went to the car.

As they pulled up to her building, he opened the door for her and they walked out. At the front door he leaned in to kiss her. She leaned in as well; thoughts of comparing him to her partner were gone. They kissed passionately and he leaned her up against the wall of the building. She breathed heavily as they pulled apart.

"You want to take this upstairs?" He said ass he kissed her neck.

"I don't know, maybe." To her surprise she giggled. She shouldn't have agreed but she loved feeling wanted and not yelling at men like the ones she worked with.

They got off the elevator and he whirled her around to kiss her again. She was very tired from the recent case though.

"Mike stop." She said more seriously than her giggle downstairs. "I don't think this is a good idea. I'm really tired." She explained. He kissed her again.

"Why don't I make sure that you get to bed." He said suggestively.

"If you must," She said. She was tired but she really did want him to come in.

They kissed passionately against the door and she gently pushed him away. She turned around and put the key in the door. He kissed her neck gently. She let out a moan.

"Don't stop," She breathlessly whispered as she opened the door. She turned around as soon as they were in and kissed him with more passion than before. She moaned as she kissed him. He abruptly stopped with anger in his eyes. She turned with confusion and followed his gaze. Coming out of the small kitchen was Elliot. Standing with anger blazing off of him.

"I see how it is," Mike said with anger and sadness at this foolishness.

"Let's talk outside," She said grabbing his wrist. She shot a deadly glare at Elliot. She led Mike to the hallway and shut the door.

"I'm so sorry. I had no idea he was here. Mike please don't be angry," She pleaded with him.

"What is this Olivia?" he asked with confusion and anger. "I really thought we had something here. Why the hell is he here?"

"I have no idea but I sure as hell will find out," she replied with fury and honesty.

"He told me to ask you. He said to go for what you want. I had heard rumors but refused to believe them. I didn't think someone as beautiful as you wasn't attached," He rambled more to himself than her.

"He told you to ask me?" she asked incredulously. "Mike, he never likes anyone I date. I can't even believe he wanted you to ask me out. What do you mean by attached?"

"What you didn't tell him to come here? To see that you didn't go to far or something? Do you freaking need a babysitter? I thought I felt something Olivia but I guess I'm just another idiot in your life," his anger was eminent.

"I feel something too. I had a fantastic time tonight. I really do like you. Please don't leave. Let me talk to him real quick. Please wait here," He was furious at Elliot for interrupting their date.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She yelled at him as she came in.

"Oh I'm sorry I interrupted your one-night stand. Sorry, my mistake Olivia. What were you going to do sleep with him?" He shouted without realizing what he had said.

"Get the hell out Elliot. I don't care why you came. I don't care anymore. You crossed the line Elliot. You have no right. Get the hell out. Out of here and out of my freaking life! I'm done. You are nothing more than a partner! We have no friendship. You broke it by calling me a whore!" She screamed at him. She was so furious right now.

He was angry but he left quickly out of her apartment. He didn't want to do anymore damage. Mike watched him run by and he quietly walked in and saw something few people had ever seen.

The strong Olivia was leaning against the nearest wall. She was crying silently. Without a word, he walked over and wrapped her in a hug. He pulled out his phone and called and ADA he knew could help.

"Casey, it's Olivia…." Mike started. "You need to come."

He only had one thought _Elliot is a dead man._

Okay so I have another chapter in mind with Casey and then at the squad room. I'll keep going if you want. Please review and let me know.


	2. War

Casey turned to her date (one she could rarely have with the job).

"I'm so sorry but I have to go," She gave him a quick kiss.

"I knew this date would probably end early anyway," he laughed. "Is everything okay?"

"No. I am not sure why though." She waved as she walked away from the restaurant. She wasn't totally lying. Casey really didn't know what the exact reason was. One thing she did know was that Elliot was the only thing that could truly make her cry.

It had been twenty minutes since he called Casey. Olivia let her guard down for ten minutes and then she apologized for having him see her like that and said he could leave if he wanted. He refused and she had been silent since then. Now he was making coffee. He handed her a cup and broke the ten-minute silence.

"Why was he here?" he asked, being careful not to show his anger.

"It's what Elliot does. We just had a really bad case. He was also probably checking up on me. He always does that when I have a date," she tried to explain. The broken woman he had seen was now gone.

"Liv-" he started.

"Don't call me that," she said. "Only he calls me Liv."

"Olivia he has no right to have any part of you to himself. My god I want to punch him for seeing what he did to you. How can you even have enough respect for him to say that he has HIS own nickname for you." He was becoming angry with her. It seemed trivial to argue over a nickname but he still didn't understand.

"He always fights with me. I suppose it's just what we do. He's never been like this though. Never this bad," She was sad and angry. She was still sitting against the wall she had been when he left, still in Mike's arms. She wasn't sure if she truly liked him, or if he was simply good for her because he was there.

A knock came at the door and he opened it to reveal Casey. One look at her disheveled appearance and she knew Elliot was on the rocks with her.

"I got it Mike. Thanks," Casey said. He leaned down and kissed Olivia before leaving.

"What did he do?" Casey asked softly.

"He called me a whore Case. He-he said Mike was a one night stand and all I wanted was to sleep with him…. why, Casey?" The tears threatened to fall again and Casey knew she needed to talk to Elliot and find out why he did this.

"Liv, let's just go to bed." She didn't care that Casey used the name too. Another man simply couldn't do it.

There was a knock at the door at about 11, an hour after the incident. Olivia had finally gone to sleep.

"What the hell do you want Elliot?" Casey's glared at him.

"Let me talk to her Case. I need to apologize. I need to show her it will all be okay," he desperately tried to explain.

"Listen, Elliot," she lowered her angry voice, so as not to wake her friend. "You always do this and someone else has to pick up the pieces. You didn't see the hurt in her eyes. You didn't see the betrayal. You hurt her. It is going to take a lot to fix it. If you even want to."

"Oh my god, I made her break down? Casey of course I want to fix this. I don't want her to be broken and lonely tomorrow at work," he tried to explain despite his fury and shock at himself.

"She isn't going to be a lonely puppy tomorrow and beg for your friendship back. You know her better than that. Tomorrow will be war," she warned him as she closed the door.

"I brought you coffee, Liv," he said as he set the peace offering on her desk. She didn't even glance in his direction. Yeah, war was the right word.

The day went bye without them talking. He slipped several notes in her desk to no avail. She threw each one in the trash. When she finally got up to go to the bathroom. He jumped at the chance. He grabbed her arm as she walked away and whirled her around.

"What, Stabler," She warned fiercely. He knew it was bad when she used his last name.

"I'm sorry, please talk to me. You know I didn't mean it I-just- I"

"What, you had a bad day and was stressed? You didn't mean it?" she challenged. "Ha you never do." She laughed bitterly at him.

"Liv, it's just that he-"

"He what Elliot? Isn't good enough? No one ever is. Not everyone is as perfect at you are." Her sarcastic words cut him and the rage built up at her accusations.

"No he's not good enough Olivia. You need someone who loves you. You need someone to protect you, not just want to sleep with you."

"There we go again. Yes I'm a whore. I can never get anyone. Is that what you want Elliot? You want me to admit it? Fine! I just sleep with everyone. That's just who I am you know. My father WAS a rapist! Go ahead and say it," She challenged him.

"How can you accuse me of saying that? Thinking that! Do you really have that much little confidence in me? Do you want someone to think that? To think you are as bad as he was! Don't bring yourself to that. You're stronger than that!" They were screaming in rage at each other now. Then she brought back the most horrible thing he had ever said to her.

"Apparently you do think that Elliot," He voice laced with venom and she leaned in and whispered in his face. "YOU are the one who said it last night. YOU were the one in my apartment when I got home. YOU caused this not me. You want o fix it? Then you try. You are out of my life Stabler, as a partner, as a friend, as ANYTHING," she was so close to his face. The words cut through him and his heart shattered. HE destroyed what he loved the most. He destroyed Olivia. He didn't know how to get her back.

As she walked away, he knew she was not at all lying. The shocked onlookers scattered as the captain and squad stood.

"Elliot my office!" the captain shouted at him.

"You screwed up," Fin whispered in his ear, walking bye.

He quietly closed the door to the captain's office.

"What the hell was that?" the captain commanded.

"It was just me and Liv arguing."

"That was a hell lot more than arguing. I don't want to ever see that again from my squad. I have to explain things to a lot of people. They are going to think I can't control my squad," the captain yelled at him. "Go Elliot."

Elliot walked out, fuming. He walked down the hall toward the locker room. He then saw Mike walking the opposite way.

"Why are YOU here," Elliot asked him.

"I'm here to talk to LIV," he emphasized the nickname. "I'm making sure she isn't still in shambles or you really hurt her."

"I would never raise a hand to her. I-"

"You what? Don't tell me you care for her. Don't give me that crap. I don't care how jealous you are of me. Don't ruin things between us. We have something.""You aren't good enough for her," Mike was nearly pinned against the wall now. Rage now evident in both their eyes at the word's Elliot had just spoken.

"Someone has to be cause you sure as hell aren't!" Mike yelled at him. Olivia ran over to stop Elliot from pummeling Mike.

"What are you doing Elliot! Get off him!" She said as she got Mike off the wall. Mike pulled her into a passionate kiss, as he looked sideways at Elliot. Olivia melted into the kiss. Elliot fumed with jealousy. As Olivia walked away, Mike fiercely whispered in Elliot's ear.

"This is war Stabler. I can be just as dirty as you are. At least she likes ME."


	3. everything

I hope the drama heated up a little more in this one. I tried to make it interesting. The 2nd hald of the chapter will be posted late tonight or tomorrow, I didn't want too much in a chapter. Please guys review. I have like 500 hits (not like all of those read it) but i really want your input. Just two seconds to tell me what you. Things change between Elliot and Olivia. It may not last though. 

It was his third glass of whiskey. He sat there pitying himself for the way he was today. Mike had her. Elliot needed her, needed her in every way. She wasn't going to forgive him easily. She wasn't going to give Mike up easily. Mike was right. It was war.

"We're closing Elliot, go talk to her," Steve, the bartender told him. The whole precinct was frequently at Malloney's.

"To who? I'm alright," he tried to convince him. He stumbled as he got off the chair.

"Liv," Steve sighed. "It's Elliot, he's wasted."

"Why are you calling me? Isn't there anyone else," she bitterly answered. "Call Fin, let him go get him."

"Fine," He said as he hung up with her.

"Fin, man. It's Elliot," He started.

"He's drunk," Fin answered with a statement more than a question. Any fight between Elliot and Olivia always ended like this.

"Fin? Why are you here?" Elliot asked in surprise half an hour later.

"You're drunk Elliot. Don't even try to deny it," Fin said, sighing.

"I…am….(hiccup) a…o….k-kay," he slurred and stumbled over his words.

"Thanks, Steve. I got it," Fin turned to him, ignoring Elliot. He got Elliot in the car and turned to him.

"I don't care what it takes, fix this. She is worth more to you than you know. YOU screwed up, YOU fix it. This isn't my problem Elliot. You deserve this after what you said to her," Fin warned him.

"I know," Elliot sighed in defeat. He couldn't even argue. Fin dropped Elliot off at his house and left. It was only 9 o'clock.

"Why does he do this? Why does he do this all the time?" Olivia told Mike, trying to understand.

"He's an abuser, Olivia. He won't stop until he truly hurts you. Until he hurts you more than emotionally," Mike told her in anger at Elliot.

"Do you really think he hurt me?" she asked in a tearful whisper (think fault). "he would never do that. Do you think I can't handle myself?"

"No, no. I just think he doesn't know how angry he gets. You don't know what he's capable of."

"I know what he is capable of. I have known him for nine years!" she said more loudly than before back at him.

"What is this Olivia? Is there anything at all between us?" He asked, no, challenged her.

"What does that mean? Of course there is something! You have helped me through all of this," She angrily said back at him.

"You're defending him! You are defending this guy! Do you really think he cares about you? That he even gives a damn? You heard him Olivia, he called you a whore! He thinks you are no better than your father!" he yelled at her.

"What?" she was more stunned at his remark than anything. "How the hell do you know aboutmmy father?"

"Oh come on, everyone knows! This isn't about that! You are defending someone who hurt you" he said to her.

"I-I just don't know what to do anymore," her voice was weaker.

"Trust me Olivia. I won't hurt you. I really care about you. I won't hurt you like him," he begged her.

"Ugh! I can't do this right now. Just go, the new year's party is Saturday. We should go," She told him.

"That's tomorrow Olivia," he laughed. "See you then. 6:30."

Mike then left. Elliot was already on his way to her apartment. He was almost sober by know, so why he went then, even he didn't know.

He knocked lightly on the door. No one else would have heard it, but she could. She knew he was there. She opened the door without a sound. He took this as a way of her letting him in. She sat on the couch, he awkwardly stood by it.

"So Liv, how are you?" he started.

"Why are you here, Elliot. Shouldn't you be with your wife or something?" She tried to keep the sadness out of her voice.

"That's why I came here before. She has someone else. We signed the papers," he said sadly.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Liv, please let me talk. Just five minutes. Let me explain, please," his voice too dropped to a whisper.

"I don't want to talk now. I can't handle this right now," she explained.

"Please, Liv. I-I can't not having you in my life. I don't want to be out of your life. You know that I lose it sometim-"

"You can't keep losing it Elliot! I can't keep wondering if I'm going to piss you off! Do you know how much you hurt me? DO you know how much that hurt?" She had tears in her eyes as her voice grew from angry to soft.

"Liv, I-" he was cut of by Mike coming through the door.

"I forgot my- what are you doing here?" he angrily questioned Elliot.

"Mike," she whispered. Tears still in her eyes.

"What the hell did you do to her? You son of a bitch!" Mike yelled in rage. He punched Elliot across the face.

"Mike stop!" she yelled at him. "He didn't do anything!" She ran to Elliot's side.

"You're crying Olivia. He had to do something," he said. Elliot was getting up.

"Mike please go. I am okay. Thank you. I'll see you tomorrow, baby," she said to calm him down. She never called him baby before. He just nodded. She reached up and kissed him from her spot on the ground. Elliot watched in anger. Then, Mike left. Elliot started to get up.

"Elliot let him go," she told him. "Do you want to waste your five minutes on revenge?"

"I get five minutes?" he asked in disbelief. She nodded.

"I never meant to hurt you. I was just so mad. I took it out on you," she started to open her mouth. "You said five minutes Olivia." She nodded.

"I forgot that Mike was here. I saw him walk in and…oh I just couldn't think about him kissing you and touching you. I couldn't watch it Liv. I never meant to say those things. You are my life. I couldn't believe I was losing Kathy, so I came here, to my best friend's house," his voice emotional and barely above a whisper.

"Elliot I have a boyfriend, and he is wonderful. He was there for me when you weren't, when you shattered my heart. Why isn't he good enough, or I am I not good enough?"

"oh my god, Liv, no! No one is good enough for you. I just can't watch you. I didn't mean you can't handle yourself, but I-I just"he couldn't finish.

"Elliot if you're jealous I understand. You're wife just left. You can't keep yelling. I know you want someone, but don't yell at me. I'm not your play toy," she was angry now. "Leave Elliot. Tomorrow is the dance. Take Kathy and don't talk to me."

She shoved him out the door before he had a chance to say anything else. Mike was going to have fun at the dance tomorrow, only to anger Elliot more.

As Elliot left, he knew tomorrow would be hell. He only kept repeating Mike's words. _This is war, Stabler._

"Oh my god, Casey!" Olivia squealed. "You look amazing!" Casey wore a red dress that went to the floor. There was a diamond circle at the center of her v-neck. She had black, strappy heels on.

"Olivia please. I do not look as amazing as you will when you GET IN YOUR DRESS!" she playfully yelled to her friend.

"Oh my god, okay!" she laughed, giving up. She came out in a dark blue dress coming to her knees. There was a slit to mid-thigh. The dress sparkled in the light. There was only a criss-cross of straps to cover her back. She had diamond drop earrings and a dia ond heart necklace.

"Oh my god. Everyone is gonna love you, especially the two guys fighting over you," Casey playfully added with a sparkle in her eye.

"What are you talking about? I am going with Mike," she said, confused.

"Word on circuit is that there is a show down tonight. Mike said he is going to take Stabler down for messing with you. He said Elliot isn't getting you."

"They ARE NOT fighting. Why would Elliot- oh," she said as the realization hit her. "Elliot doesn't want me Casey. You know what he said. He came last night to apologize. Mike broke in, punched Elliot and eventually we got to talk. He left Kathy and signed the papers. I told he couldn't u se me as a toy. I told him he was jealous because he didn't have anyone."

"Olivia he isn't jealous because of not having someone. He is jealous because he doesn't have you. THAT'S what their fighting about. They are fighting for you Olivia. Someone will win, someone will lose. Only you can know the outcome," she explained.

"They both know I am furious at Elliot," she said.

"That is why Mike thinks he will win. This is a showdown. Olivia, have you and Mike slept together?"

"Why would you ask that?" she replied, slightly angry.

"He could use that Olivia. Mike can use that to make Elliot even more jealous."

"Me and Mike have been on each other's nerves. We argued the night Elliot came over. We did, once though. Afterwards I told him I was really confused about everything. He said 'you can't have it all Olivia'. I was so upset he would tell me that. We made up though."

"Oh this is gonna be a long night," Casey groaned. "Mike's here." She said as the doorbell rang.

"Olivia, you look amazing. Everyone will want you tonight. Thank God I already have you," He whispered in her ear.

They walked in and all eyes were on Olivia and Casey. Elliot's eyes were only on Olivia. Mike followed her gaze to Elliot and balled up his fists.

"Don't do this tonight," she pleaded in his ear.

"He can't have you. He gets everything," he growled back at her.

"I'm not a freaking prize," she said louder than she meant. She lowered her voice after some looked at her. "You have no competition. He doesn't want me."

"Please Olivia, are you blind? He wants you more than anything. I can't make promises that nothing wil happen."

They walked to the table and Olivia introduced Mike. She purposely didn't say hello to Elliot.

"Can I have this dance?" Mike asked, kissing her hand. She giggled and nodded. She had forgotten about the showdown. Elliot watched in fury. It was then he made a decision.

Mike and Olivia danced very close. He leaned down to kiss her neck, his eyes on Elliot. He watched them in a jealous rage. He got up and crossed the floor. He tapped Olivia.

"May I cut in?" He asked as charmingly as possible, flashing his famous grin.

"Get out of here Elliot," Mike warned.

"Stop," Olivia warned quietly to Mike. "I don't want a scene. Let Elliot have one dance." He started to protest. "Please."

"Fine," he leaned to Elliot's ear. "Only chance Stabler. You're lucky."

"Thank you Olivia," he whispered in her ear, after Mike was gone.

"Why are you doing this Elliot?"

"What?"

"Why are you challenging Mike like this? Why are you trying to cause trouble? I don't even know why I am giving you a chance. I am still furious with you."

"I can't not have you in my life. If that means challenging that ass, you're worth it."

"No I'm not. This is stupid. I am not a prize. I am not anything. You said it yourself," Shesadly whispered.

"no, you are everything. You are worth fighting over. You are worth everything I go through with this guy," he whispered into her ear. She was stunned as Mike cut in and Elliot walked away. _You are everything._


	4. Fight

"Olivia? Olivia," he said, snapping her out of her shocked stance. "Are you okay? What did he say to you? I swear I'll-"

"I'm okay. He just surprised me," she whispered.

"What did he say?" he repeated.

"I never thought I was worth anything, anything at all. I told him I wasn't a prize, that he had even said so. He said 'no, you are everything," she whispered.

"That shouldn't be a surprise. You are worth what I have to go through to get you."

"That is exactly what he said," she told him. The song ended and they walked back to the table.

At about 9:30, everyone had had his or her share of drinks. Mike leaned over to kiss Olivia on the neck. She giggled at the contact.

"Can you not be an ass for five minutes?" Elliot snapped at Mike. The whole table looked between them. Some seemed amused, others knew of the bad to come.

"Something you want to say, Stabler?" Mike challenged. He possessively pulled Olivia closer to him.

"Elliot, don't," Olivia quietly, but sharply warned him. He had 4 beers, and two shots, only his jealousy and rage controlled him.

"You know what you are doing Mike! I am so sick of you," Elliot's voice became louder.

"What you think you can win this? You think you're better than I am? You are just a pathetic, lonely man," Mike yelled back at him.

"You don't even know what this is about, do you? Do you love her, Mike? Do you care for her like I do?" Elliot yelled, intoxication preventing him from actually realizing what he said. Olivia just gasped in surprise, the whole table watching her reaction.

"Maybe I do, how the hell do you know?" Mike screamed.

"Nine years! She is my best friend! You don't know what this is like at all!" Elliot yelled at the man.

"But you never got her, did you? She never cared enough! You never got her to even look at you! I got there first, Elliot, that is one challenge you can't win. She already slept with me!" He yelled back, not even realizing what he had said. The whole room got silent and Olivia stood up, spilling her beer.

"Get out, Mike! I can't even believe you would stoop that low, you both are ridiculous!" She yelled, turning to Elliot. "Yes, Elliot, he got to me. I guess I am a slut, like both of you and have this room believe I am." She ran out of the banquet hall to the streets of New York.

"Olivia!" They both shouted.

"Go home Mike, she won't talk to you tonight. Elliot, you should probably go too," Casey said to them. Mike got his jacket and left, not even seeing Olivia.

She sat on the wet steps, as far left as she could go. She did something she rarely did, she cried. Casey came out to see her friend.

"Liv honey?" Casey asked.

"This is so stupid, Casey. I-," she sighed. "Mike spilled everything, but that isn't what this is about. He had nine years Casey."

"Who?"

"Elliot. He said he loves me, granted he didn't realize it, but her said it. Neither of them is going to remember this. What if they regret everything they said?"

"Mike may love you. He was trying to get something that Elliot couldn't have on him. Mike is jealous; he doesn't have all the secrets about you that Elliot does. And Elliot is jealous because he doesn't think that he ever will have a chance," She sympathetically explained.

"Thanks, Case. I just need to be alone. I am going home. I'll see you tomorrow. Captain said, "Crime waits for no one"".

She got a taxi and went to her apartment. She saw someone sitting outside her door.

"Elliot?"

He sat against her door, a beer only half full in his hands.

"Jesus, El, what are you doing here? I thought you went home," she said.

"No one is there."

"Come on, you get the couch," she told him. They got inside the door and he fell onto the couch. She threw him a pillow and a blanket from the closet. He had started to sober up; the beer was from the bar. He hadn't drunk any more and it was two hours and a cup of coffee after the fight.

"Hey, Liv?"

"What Elliot?" she said, slightly angry.

"Do you love me? Or did you ever?" He asked her, figuring she thought he was drunk.

"You know what," she said, defeated at hiding it any longer. "Yes. I love you, I always probably will. But I need to move on. I really like Mike. You had Kathy. I knew I never had a chance. But yes, I love you with all my heart. But now I am going to bed. Hell, you won't remember tonight anyway."

She woke up to the smell of coffee. She walked to the kitchen, and he handed her some.

"Thanks," she mumbled.

"Are you still mad at me? Cause I am assuming you are still angry about the vaguely familiar fight."

"Yes Elliot, I am furious of both of you. You don't respect me like I thought. If you did, neither of you would have done that."

"Oh my god, Liv. I respect you so much, I just am so jealous of the guy. He has someone wonderful," he told her.

"Do you even know what happened last night?" she asked, laughing at how naïve he was.

"We got into an argument?"

"Mike said he would win and you two yelled. You said you knew me better, he said he got to me first. You said you loved me, Elliot," she said, still surprised.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry it got like that, Liv."

"Did you mean it?" she asked him.

"Did you?" he asked her.

"What?"

"Last night, you said you loved me, with all you heart. Did you mean it?" he asked her, pressing.

"You were drunk Elliot, you don't even know what I said."

"No, I was sober. You said you loved me. Do you?" he asked her. She started to walk away. He spun her around. "Don't you walk away. Do you love me like you said."

"Yes," her voice weakly said. He kissed her roughly. She pushed him away. "No! This isn't right. Not after everything that you have done. You can't screw with me like this. I won't do it."

She was dressed for work by now and opened the door to leave, coffee in her hand. Mike was sitting beside the door, roses in his hand.

"Olivia!" he jumped in surprise. "Why are _you _here?" he eyes narrowed on Elliot.

"Stop, this isn't happening this morning," she warned him. "Why are you here?"

"I was going to give you a ride to work, my boss know I'll be late. I want to apologize."

"Good," she smirked. "You and Elliot can go together."

Both their jaws dropped in shock.

"Bye boys," she called down the hall.

In the car, an argument started, ending in a black eye for both men. Elliot walked in with his shiner.

"Elliot, what happened to you?" Munch asked. Olivia looked up, still drinking her coffee. She laughed and chocked at the same time on her coffee. One thought ran through her mind.

_Today should be fun._


	5. Utah

It was so hard to write this chapter. I had to keep erasing things. I don't know what is going to happen in the chapters before I write them. I just know how it ends. This has been mentioned before in a review this isn't Mike Logan, it is someone i made up-but he is good looking. According to another review, this may be slightly OOC, just so you know. I thought it was pretty in character, but the reviewers know best. Thanks and enjoy!

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"My eye? Oh uh, I ran into a door. You know, good party," he made up.

The rest of the day became uneventful as neither of them talked.

"Olivia. Olivia! Would you talk to me?" he urgently asked her, banging on her door.

"What is there to talk about?" she angrily said as she opened the door.

"Everything! Olivia tell me you don't feel the connection we have? Do you have that with that ass?" he asked her.

"Stop it, just stop. Don't call him that. If you really loved me you would have more respect for me and want me to be happy!" her voice was louder now.

"Are you really questioning that?" he was shocked.

"I can't fall for you again, El. All you men do is break my heart. You have called me things before. Things you wouldn't have said if you, somewhere, didn't believe them," she softly explained.

"I was angry Olivia, angry at everything. I never meant that. Tell me you don't want me at all," he told her.

"I….I, no" she stuttered, unable to find the words. They bother knew that she was lying.

She was leaning with her back against the door. He swiftly got close to her, taking both her hands and holding them against the door. Her heart raced. He came close to her lips, millimeters even. It sent shivers down her spine. He breathed on her neck. (He remembered their favorite movie was _How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days_. He remembered the game played in the movie.) He got close to her ear. She couldn't even breathe, he had never been that close.

"Bull shit," he whispered. "You know you're lying."

He leaned down and kissed her. She was in heaven, exploring his mouth.

"Stop," she whispered. "Stop, Elliot."

"Why? Tell me why?"

"Because I have Mike and I am furious at you right now. You have been with others before and dropped them," she said, as she got her voice back. She whispered the last words; almost so much that he couldn't hear her. Almost. "Like Dani."

"What?" he started to get angry. She was never supposed to know.

"Dani, Elliot! My replacement. You know the one you were all over! I was your partner for nine freaking years! I leave for 6 weeks and you make a move on her! Do you have _any_ idea how I felt! Some rookie from warrants gets you. I thought I was nothing! Like I didn't even matter t you. Don't you even pull that "We're meant to be crap". If you really meant it, you would have done something while you were single. You made your choice, you chose her," her voice growing from loud and angry, to an icy hiss.

"How do you know about her?" he said, softer than before.

"Does it matter? I know about that whore," she said louder again.

"She isn't a whore Olivia, she was in pain like I was," Elliot yelled.

"See? You defended her, someone called her something and you responded. Did you do that for me Elliot! You were the one who hurt me. You aren't protecting me! You had someone else! Don't act like you have this horrible life and are miserable," her eyes flashed with anger.

"You left! You left Olivia. You and Kathy were both gone. You were the only thing holding me together and you were gone. I wanted to make a move but I didn't think you would _ever_ feel the same way. Dani was there, and I liked her. I didn't know when or even _if_ you were coming back!" he roared.

"I saw the way you acted with her! I was back for a week before I even called you!" she yelled.

"You were?"

"She replaced me. She took _everything _I had! She had the victims, she had the squad, and she even had you! How could I compete with Superwoman!" she yelled again.

"You're wrong Olivia. She didn't have everything. We all missed you like hell! We called the same damn number everyday to see if your phone was back. The squad didn't like her, she was arrogant and cocky, and she even challenged Casey! She acted like the victims were criminals. She didn't have the same compassion and love for them that you did. And she didn't get me Olivia! You always had from the day you walked into the squad, you owned me. You took everything I had when you left. She was comfort. She asked me to give her a reason to stay; she wanted me to love her. I told her there was no reason. You always had me, and you always will. I was afraid of heart break again!" he yelled at her. She faltered, but picked up the anger again.

"_You_ were afraid? Ha! Nothing can make you afraid, you aren't afraid of anything!"

"Except you!" he yelled.

"I can't do this now! Just leave Elliot, if Mike comes this will be worse," she warned him.

"You are still going back to him?" he asked incredulously.

"I don't know. You-you are everything I have. I don't know if I can take the chance of you walking out of my life like before. When you went back to Kathy, my heart shattered again. It was like you were choosing every other woman in the world but me. I mean why would you want me anyway. I'm damaged goods, I have more baggage than anyone would want to carry. My mother was right," she said sadly.

"You mother was wrong. There is nothing wrong with you. Tell me that kiss meant nothing. Tell me you don't want more," he asked, searching her eyes.

"I can't tell you that."

"Was Mike telling the truth?"

"What?"

"Did you sleep with him? Did he win like he says he did?"

"There is no winning here. For all I know, you both will go to someone else. Someone always gets tired. You have to go, Casey is coming over."

He leaned in again and whispered _I'll forever love you_. He abruptly left.

"This is such a mess," Olivia groaned.

"Hey whichever you don't choose, can I have them, Mike is gorgeous. Elliot is ripped, probably good in bed. They probably both are," Casey said, thinking.

"You cannot have Elliot!….or Mike. Any yeah, he was pretty good," she grinned sheepishly.

"Did you see how Mike was an afterthought? Who could you not have in your life Olivia? You can't have the best of both worlds. What would your life be like without Mike?"

"Well, he is so sweet. He brings me flowers all the time. He was willing to fight for me and go against Elliot. Elliot even told him to ask me out. Obviously El didn't know it was me. He makes me feel so wanted and like someone cares."

"And Elliot?"

"He is everything I'm not. He's like my second half. He drives me absolutely insane and I fight with hi all the time. But he is like the chocolate you shouldn't have, but want so damn bad."

"Do you hear yourself? Even in your explanation of Mike, Elliot was there. You had so much passion talking about Elliot. Is there even really a doubt in your mind?"

"I do want Elliot, but I still want Mike in my life. He is such an amazing person and I don't want to hurt him. He has defended me and been there for me when Elliot has gotten angry. I don't know what to do, Case. Elliot has hurt me so much, but yet, I always forgive him. I couldn't stand a life without the son-of-a-bitch."

"I can't help you decide. You are the only one who can choose," Casey explained.

"What if they leave? What if neither one wants me? They both can have anyone they want," she said sadly.

"Do you think Elliot will stop? Do you really think that Mike would have gone through all this to just walk away?" Casey asked her. Olivia didn't respond. "I have to go, honey, tomorrow is going to be a long day."

"Morning my bundle of sunshine," Munch said to her.

"You made the coffee again?" she groaned. He just nodded. She groaned again.

"Here Liv, I got one for you," Elliot said from behind her, giving her the cup. She took it mumbling her thanks.

He passed her notes all day and she would throw them in the trash. She couldn't choose right now. He had taken to long to tell her he was even interested. She had someone else now.

"Hey Liv, want to go for lunch?" he asked her.

"I'm busy. I'm going to see Casey anyway," she knew Casey wouldn't mind the unexpected visit. She got up and started walking past the halls.

"What is up with you two, man?" Fin asked.

"We're fine, Fin," Elliot grumbled. He got up to follow Olivia.

She was walking past interrogation, when she felt an arm around her body and a hand on her mouth. She bit down.

"God dammit!" Elliot yelled in pain. They were already inside and she couldn't get past him now.

"What the hell, Elliot?" she asked angrily.

"You aren't running again. Not back to Oregon or CPU or back to Porter," He told her.

"You can't control me…. and what do you mean Porter?" she asked him, praying her didn't know.

"How can you yell at me for Dani? I know what happened in Oregon," he informed her, angrily, jealously.

"N-nothing happened in Oregon," she tried, but failed.

"I called him Olivia."

"You what! How dare you Elliot. That was my business! You had absolutely no right to even go there. My god you make me so mad," she yelled.

"I wanted to know! What happened Olivia? Did he break your heart?" he asked.

"Yeah he did. I was second best like I always am. He had a wife and went back to her, not even giving me a second thought. Kind of like what you did! Can I go now?" she asked angrily. The words were like a knife to his heart. He had truly hurt her.

"No Olivia. You are not running. I won't let you! You can't just leave after all of this. You need to decide Olivia. It's him or me. And I pray to god it isn't him," he said loudly.

"I can't decide Elliot. I'm not running I'll be back in a week for God's sake!" she told him, and then she gasped. He was never supposed to know she was going.

"You're leaving?" he asked. "I can't believe this! You weren't even going to tell me!"

"I didn't want you to overreact. No one was supposed to know, especially not you. I knew you would want me to stay or chase me or something. I just don't know what I feel anymore," she said softly. He leaned in and kissed her, hard. She pushed him away.

"Don't make this harder for me!" she yelled through tears.

"Tell me you didn't feel that electricity Olivia. My god, you don't know how much I love you. I don't care about Brass or IAB. I don't care about anyone else, only you. Tell me now that you didn't feel that kiss or the one from last night. Cause you seemed to enjoy it as much as I did," he said.

"You son of a bitch," Mike seethed as he stood in the doorway. "You kissed him Olivia?"

"I'm so sorry Mike," She whispered.

"I can't believe that you cheated on me with him. Tell me this…did you sleep with him?"

"No Mike never. I would never mean to hurt you. I just don't know what to do," Olivia said.

"What do you mean never?" Elliot asked.

"Shut up Elliot. My plane leaves tomorrow. By next week, I'll know," she said as she turned away.

_Tomorrow I leave for Utah, for skiing, for thinking.

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_Please review. Let me know what to change or what your like whatever.thank you for those who put this on your alert list. That is so cool! now review! 


	6. What!

I know this is really short, but i wantes to get something up. Let me know what you think. A longer chapter will be up soon.

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"Stop!" both men shouted. Olivia kept walking, not turning back. This was her battle. Only one person could help her. That is where she got the idea for Utah. She had a plane ticket, just no accommodations.

"Alex?" she asked into the phone.

"Olivia? Oh my god, I haven't seen you in forever! How are you?"

She then explained the mess of the one she's always loved, and the one she could start loving.

"Elliot kissed you? I knew it would happen some time."

"Alex, he kissed me and I really liked it. I dreamed about it for years!" she cried into the phone.

"What do you need me to do?" Alex asked.

"Can I come stay with you in Utah? I mean if at all possible?" she asked reluctantly.

"You can come anytime! I am kind of lonely anyway. I want to be Alex again, not Emily. I hate this Liv, but I can come back to New York soon. They are doing trials in a couple of weeks," she said.

"That is fantastic! Oh and I am arriving tomorrow is that okay?" she asked.

"You already knew you were coming?" she laughed into the phone.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Liv," she said, hanging up.

JFK was the biggest airport she had seen. When she left for Oregon, she went to a smaller airport so that no one would recognize her.

Elliot had been calling the airport all night, trying to get her flight number. He finally was able to get a seat on the plane she was on. He couldn't lose her. She meant everything to him.

"Gate 12," the attendant told her, handing her the plane ticket.

"Well what do you know, me too," She heard a voice say from behind her.

"Elliot? Why are _you_ going to Utah?" she asked accusingly.

"Oh… I have…cousins who live in Utah," Elliot answered.

"Bull shit, Elliot," she said angrily, "You followed me. Wow you are making everything easier for me."

"Olivia, please, I couldn't take you leaving. You are running again, last time you ran, you ran into someone else's arms," he told her.

"And you shouldn't have known about that Elliot. Do you have any idea how worried I am? Who is replacing me for this week?" she asked, curiously.

"Liv it's just a week, you don't need to worry," he tried to calm her.

"Who-oh my god! It's her isn't it? Why would the captain do this?" she asked, angrily.

"He didn't know about the affair, Liv. He wasn't with us the night that we all went out drinking, and ended up at my apartment," he said.

"You slept with her!" she yelled, causing several people to look at them. She moved them to the side. "Oh, this makes it so much better," she said sarcastically.

"Wait. How much do you know, Liv," he asked.

"Apparently not that much. That whore!" she said, again.

"Stop, Liv. She means nothing to me, you do. I told you I was afraid of ruining what we had," he explained. "You know that I have been with people since you left."

"How many people?" she asked.

"Three," he answered ashamed.

"Who?" she asked, enraged.

"You know Dani, a girl from homicide…." He trailed off.

"Who else, Elliot?"

"Liv, come on. It's the past. Everyone was angry that you left. No one had anyone to talk to," he explained.

"Who else?" she demanded, her voice like venom.

"Please don't make me tell you," he begged.

"We can't have secrets Elliot let's get it all out now," she told him. Through their argument, they managed to get to a bar in the terminal.

"Olivia, it was a drunken mistake. We swore never to tell you. We knew how mad you would get, especially at her," he explained, knowing he said too much.

"Who would-," she tried to think, it suddenly hitting her; she whispered the next words, "no, please don't tell me…"

"Liv," he touched her arm. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"Whether or not you were afraid, or drunk, you should have had common sense. This is worse than Dani. Besides you, she is my best friend, or was. I don't want to talk to either of you, now. Don't talk to me, Elliot," she whispered, sadly.

"Please, it was am mistake. Me and her both agreed never to tell you," he explained again.

"That would have been better? Casey knew, she knew I loved you. She knew everything, and she still did it," she whispered, angrily.

"We were drunk, Liv, it meant absolutely nothing," he explained…again.

"I'm boarding my plane soon. When I get back, don't talk to me. You made my thinking so much easier. Mike's never done anything like this."

"Where is her Olivia?" he demanded. "Where is her? _I'm _here. _I_ was the one who spent all night, trying to get a flight because I couldn't let you leave. Tell me, where is he?"

"I-I don't know. I am so confused right now, and you just told me you slept with my best friend. I'm still going. I have a lot I need to do," she told him. "I'll talk to you when I get back." He mumbled something. "What?"

"I said I'm sitting next to you on the plane."

She thought only one thing. _This is going to be a long flight….and Casey has a lot of explaining to do.

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_Review! 


	7. Silence

thanks for those who helped and gave me ideas with this story. This may be the end, unless you think a sequel would be good. I may start another story soon.

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She tried to get the seats changed, but the plane was full. He had bought the last ticket. Her headphones were broken, so they shared his radio, it was not going well.

Its when your dialing 6 numbers just to hang up the phone.  
Driving cross town just to see if she's home.  
Waking a friend in the dead of night, just to hear 'em say it's gonna be alright.  
When your finding things to do not to fall asleep cuz you know she'll be there in your dreams.  
Thats when she's  
more than a memory

She became frustrated with Garth Brooks, and changed the channel. That wasn't much better.

You were my strength when I was weak  
You were my voice when I couldn't speak  
You were my eyes when I couldn't see  
You saw the best there was in me  
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach  
You gave me faith 'coz you believed  
I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me

"UGH!" she said in frustration, he laughed.

"Well it's true," he said. He wondered if she was still angry. She changed it again.

You should've said no,  
You should've gone home,  
You should've thought twice before you let it all go.  
You should've known the word, 'bout what you did with her'd,  
Get back to me.

"I like this one," she smirked. Yeah, she was.

"Liv, come on. This is ridiculous, you know we both were drunk," he begged again.

"Tell me everything," she said simply. "Liv…"

"Tell me everything," she said with more anger. "Tell me about you and Casey, about Mike, Dani….everything."

"Okay," he sighed. "First, Casey and I met at O'Malley's. She had just broken up with her boyfriend. I was depressed and angry. Ihad just finished punching a couple of lockers because of the case….and you." He looked at her, to see her reaction. Her face was calm and she urged him to continue.

"She let me talk, and I let her. I…um…I went to get a drink and brushed her leg. You know how the story ends. She woke up the next morning and cried. She begged me not to tell you. She said it was a huge mistake."

"Okay, but she still has some explaining," She said, surprisingly calm. "Mike?"

"I met him on a case and we talked. He asked me for some advice. He said there was a beautiful woman, with a heart of gold, and he wanted to ask her out. He said he thought another man was in love with her. I told him, if her really did….he would have already asked her. It was you," his whispered the last words, sadness in his eyes.

"Dani?" she asked, with tears in her eyes. He knew he had truly hurt her.

"She wasn't like you, she made everyone a suspect….even the victims. She was demanding and was angry that I talked about you all the time. 'Precious Olivia' she called you. We went to a bar one night. We kissed. The captain called us on a case. That night, we…we….uh….well, we slept together. I realized that was not the way to get over you."

"It wasn't, but you have to be honest with me. We can't have secrets. Usually one of us gets hurt, and I am tired of it being me," she said.

"Olivia, there's another thing," he started.

"What is it? Tell me," she said softly.

"This one is going to hurt you, and the last thing I want to do is hurt you," he said softly.

"Elliot. Tell me please," she begged. She was becoming fearful.

"I…I told you that Casey, was a mistake. Hell, even Kathy was a mistake. I know this is so wrong but I was furious at you, and I thought you were going to Mike again. I couldn't think of you in the arms of someone else. That is why I came over that night. Because of Kathy but also because I had to stop you from falling in love," he said.

"I was," she said so softly he almost did her her, "with you."

"I know and I am so sorry."

"We are going to touch down in just a few moments," the attendant said as the plane jolted."…Never mind. We should be getting in very fast. There is no one really here today." The two looked at each other.

"What did you do Elliot?" she asked.

"I went to Dani's. I needed someone. I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me. She doesn't mean anything, we both know that when we…"

"No," she whispered. "Please don't tell me."

"I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you," he said, sincerely. She laughed at him bitterly.

"That sounds familiar. The truth is, you don't love me. You love the _idea_ of me," she told him.

"No please don't say that. I love you with everything I have. I would die for you Olivia."

"We are partners, El. You would do that anyway," She said getting up and grabbing her luggage.

"Not for her," it made her stop. "Only for you."

They got off the plane after many complaints from passengers about the holdup. They got off the tunnel and stood at the gate, off to the side of course.

"I am getting back on another plane, I'm going back. I just had to talk to you," he said, grabbing her hand. She tore it away.

"Elliot. How can I trust you? How many times have you been with her Elliot?" she asked.

"Liv, I-"

"How many?" her voice was darker now.

He mumbled something.

"What?"

"I said I don't know, okay?" he admitted.

"I love you so much. These are the things that make me not want to be with you. I have been hurt so many times by men, it is hard to want something I know will hurt you." She said.

"Please, give me another chance. We can do this, Liv. I will stop. No more secrets, no more her," he didn't even say her name.

"I feel so jealous, thinking of everything that she has gotten. Everything I waited so long for," she said.

"You own me, Liv. I can't even date people, they are compared to you. I came to utah, just for this, where is he? I love you more than her ever could,"he said.

"He's giving me space. He is letting me go," she whispered.

"I can't even let you do that. The thought of losing you is too much."

Utah went by well. Alex had helped her through a lot, and she loved seeing her again. She flew back to New York with a decision in mind. Who could she not lose? She knew. (I think you do too).

She walked into the hallway to the squad room, she had called the captain and told him that she needed an extra week. He said he had to get someone to cover. She agreed, not knowing who it was.

"Baby, where'd you go?" Fin asked her.

"Eh, just needed a vacation," she smiled at him.

She walked in and looked over by the coffee machine. She almost threw up. Elliot was stading with an open file, a smile on his face. Dani held coffee and looked over his shoulder. She had her hand on his arm. She whispered something to him, and they both laughed. She called him _Ellie_. What the hell was that? Elliot, sensing her presence looked up, and his face dropped. Dani, trying to get his attention, looked up as well. There Olivia stood, arms crossed, a stern look on her face.

"_Precious_ Olivia," Dani mumbled. Everyone heard her.

"Yes, We've met. I believe you are working with _my_ partner, since I have been gone," she said, sweetly, sarcastically.

"oh Ellie?" she asked. "Yes he's been my partner before." They were closer now, Dani and Olivia. In each other's faces/

"Only temporary though," Olivia stated.

"Well you know what they say, partners in more ways than one, oh" she gasped. "But you wouldn't know that would you?" Dani's voice like venom.

"Oh please, you are just a whore Dani. Someone to run to, never to love," Olivia said.

"Oh that's it!" Dani yelled, lunging at Olivia. Elliot stepped in between.

"Stop it!" he yelled at them.

"But Ellie, we were being civilized," she said. Olivia turned and ran up to the roof. She stood facing the city. She felt arms around her stomach, but she never moved.

"I'm leaving," she said calmly.

"Take your time, baby," he said into her ear. She turned in his arms.

"I'm not leaving for a week, El. I think I may just _leave_, go and not turn around."

"What?" he asked her. "Liv, don't listen to her. Please." He kissed her with all the passion he had. He had a lot. "Please baby."

"I made a decision, El," she said. "About everyone, but I am rethinkning it."

He had feared she would choose Mike, he had done so much to hurt her."

"I wanted someone who I could always love, who would love me back. Someone who would always be there," she said, wind whipping her hair. "I chose you, but Dani is so happy with you."

"I told you she means nothing. You are my partner, Liv. Please don't change your mind."

"Olivia?" Mike asked from the door to the roof. He saw Elliot holding her around the waist.

"El, give us a minute." He walked away. Mike walked over and stood beside her. That sat in silence for a while.

"It's him isn't it?" he asked.

"I'm so sorry," she told him.

"I kind of knew. The way you looked at him, that I was losing. I was holding onto a false sense of hope," he said calmly.

"Can we be friends?" she asked.

"Not right now, I can't be around him and know. Maybe someday," he said.

"I am so relieved to her you say that," she honestly said. "What…um"

"No," he read her mind. "IAB won't know. I would never do that to anyone."

"Thank you so much."

"Take care of her," Mike said on the way out.

"I will," Elliot said. They stood watching the city for a hour, standing in silence after the war.

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Review! 


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